eh...

oh wow, two nights in a row. Yay me? LOL. So, tonight at work, I had a longgg conversation with a coworker about life, love, and everything else like that.

I know its normal, but it feels weird for me..... I miss dating. I think the tough part of it is that even my DAD is sitting there and if there's a guy that's remotely cute looking, he points and whispers "he's good looking" etc. and people keep asking me why I don't even have a boyfriend... it's like stop reminding me already! It's not like I don't want one! :(

But, I don't want to date someone for the wrong reasons either. So, unlike before, I refuse to date just anyone, which might be why it's been a year and a half since I've had a boyfriend. It stinks, but I guess that's the choice I made with that right?

I dunno. I'm just so like blah, confused, and I guess in a sense lonely? lol. Thoughts?

Love, me <3

time flies when you have "fun"?

I feel like I have so many thoughts sifting through my mind tonight, and I can't seem to get them to focus on one thing alone. I thought about trying to compartmentalize said thoughts via this blog entry, mais I think the rest of my body has decided it is way to tired to let my mind function?

So let's see... it's been what a month since I've updated? hmm, what's happened? Oh, I went to Mississippi! :D yay. It was a great trip, and we all enjoyed ourselves immensely. I actually tried to stay with Fab Fattie's challenge, but I didn't get home in time to email points or anything... And you got 50 points for every good deed you did each day... so I wonder how many points a mission trip would be worth??? lol.

Weight watchers is going splendidly. I lost 1.6 last week, for a total of 11 pounds! yayyy. It's so exciting to see the scale go down, as well as my clothes! Mom and I went Old Navy shopping the other night, and I bought mediums in the tops. First time I bought a medium in a designed-for-an-average-woman shirt in forever... usually I'm a medium in mens, not women! So it's a big acheivement for me to say the least.

I've been watching these three kids this summer as well... or, as I like to call them, my three terrors. They're sweet and adorable until you get to know them, especially the oldest Johnny (11). He wears a patch for his ADD, and if he doesn't have it on... watch out cuz you're screwed. omg. And then the other two are girls... I haven't figured out which yet, but one of the two is a chronic liar. I'm thinking it's the youngest, Lindsay (6), because she cries and does anything to get her way... but then again, Sarah (10) seems like she'd be able to get away with it better than Lindsay would. I thought I didn't want kids before I met them... yeah, now I'm pretty certain I never want kids (sorry mom and dad, you're stuck with if Patrick has kids).

Speaking of the little bro, he's staying at his girlfriends house... and has stirred up quite a bit of drama in the family with it. As well as with his visiting his mom multiple times, and not wanting to see his dad at all. I keep expecting him to call me and be like "Court, help. Jess is preg." but he hasn't... yet. He called me once or twice during the past few weeks that he's been home, but not really to say anything at all... I think he really only called because our grandmothers knew him and I weren't talking and it made them upset (I came to that conclusion because he got my number from one of the mommoms).

But yeah, life's crazy... working at Macys is like a workout. Especially with putting away clothing! I've been in swim since I've come home from MS, and I am constantly moving every moment I'm clocked in! I even managed to pull something in my shoulder while at work from carrying too much at once... but the part that annoys me the most is watching people BUY the suits. There are just some bathing suits that are NOT meant for your body, ladies! The worst thing someone could do is shove their body into a bathing suit too small for them...... and then they think it's a perfect fit, or that it looks bad because it's too big. Some of the people, I look at the purchase and just want to laugh and say "where is the rest of the suit?!" because it would hardly cover one of thier thighs! It's terrible.







Ok.... I think I've calmed my brain down enough to be able to sleep for tonight (and I didn't have to talk about boys, etc!!!)... So, if I remember, I'll be back in the next few days or so!

Love, me <3

Fabfattie's Day 1!

Helloooo world!
I am in SUCH a good mood today! You know why???? IT'S SUMMER! :D no more studying until fall semester starts! yay!!!
I got two of my grades back so far: D+ and C-..... ewww. But I really wasn't ready for UD when I started there, and my body collapsed a lot, so the grades aren't a surprise to me. Next semester I'll be ok.

BUT that's not what today's blog is about!
Today started Fabfattie's new challenge! woohoo! I woke up, had a GREAT breakfast, went to the gym for an hour (I feel excellent!), drank 2 bottles of water (so far), had a strawberry protein shake, and went to my WW meeting. I only lost .2 when I weighed in, BUT that's still a loss, so I'm happy!!!!!
(can you tell how much more carefree I am now that finals are over??? lol).

I'm getting ready to have an EXCELLENT lunch... though I'm not sure what it'll be yet! But I'll think of something.
I might take the puppy out for a walk first though??? hmm....

But yeah, I just thought I'd share my day real quickly! :) I know it's not a long post, but I'm STARVED, so I'm gonna go eat and then track my points etc... and then go to the sprint store with the daddy so I can try to get a phone that actually works!
Followed by work. :( ugh but it's money.


Talk to you guys laterr!!!!!
Love, me <3

Insanity is slowly slipping away...

Hey look, it's me! O.O wow... I'm getting there lol.

OK, so I'm working through stuff for my last final (which is TODAY) (and chemistry... *whimper*), and I think I've totally passed my capacity to take things in. 4 finals, 4 days in a row... I'm so exhausted, I can barely stand it... :(

BUT! It's the LAST FINALL!!!!! Which means... at like 6 tonight, I will be on SUMMER BREAK! And that right there my friends is the best thing ever. :) Because summer means that me, and Kelli, start to run a lot. Like 4 days a week... it's pretty much a C25K thing we do, so maybe this year I'll be able to do a 5K. Last year, when we started the running program, I couldn't run. And that's not an understatement... The interval was 2 minutes running, and I could barely do 1 minute. It was a disaster.
If you ask Kelli, I've come a looooooong way since then.

But anyways... (yes, this IS me being a procrastinator. But you try doing CSBs [aka Chem Skill Builders] when your brain has completely shut itself off. It's impossible) I just wanted to say that FABFATTIE'S CHALLENGE IS GOING TO BE STARTING SOON! AND YOU SHOULD JOIN ME!!!!!!! Because it's going to be fun, and exciting, and earning points is always the best! Not to mention, it's a great excuse to be healthy and active!!!! :)

So yes... join me! YAY! :)

Ok... I'm going to go back to my studying/homework now.

OH and for those who read any of my fanfic that might be looking..... I have half of chapter 8 for Traveling Soldier written, BUT I refused to write anymore until I was done with finals.... which means... I SHOULD FINISH WRITING IT TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
And I'll try to get something for my other two stories worked through as well... I know the people who read those stories probably hate me right about now. Oops. :(

Leave me messages loves! I'm looking forward to lots of encouragement over the next 2 weeks while I work through this challenge (my first during WW!).

Love, me <3

So... I really SHOULD be studying right now, BUT... I am so ADD it's not even funny. :( Oh well, criminal justice will just have to wait for a little while longer (I do have all of the notes sitting right in front of me at least!).
Today, I am updating for one single reason... I am presenting my readers (whom I am aware are just a few of you) with the newest challenge by those wonderful ladies at Fabfatties! Yeah!!! I am joining a fellow dieter on twitter, foodiemcbody, in their challenge for the next two weeks... and you should too! :)

Here's the details:

*Eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily- 5 points
*Drink 8 glasses of water a day- 8 points
*Exercise- 1 point per minute
*Do a random good deed- 5 points
*Stop drinking soda pop for a day- 1 point
*Actually read someone else’s blog post and leave a comment- 1 point
* Answer our Fab Fatties random bonus questions about us- 5 points
-Bonus questions will be posted daily on our blog.
* Recommend 2 fabulous friends from twitter and tell us why we should follow them- 2 points
* Eat a healthy breakfast-1 point
* Lose weight- 1 point per pound
* Keep a food journal for the day- 5 points per day
* Take a walk during you lunch break- 5 points
* Have a friend join this challenge- 25 points per friend
-make sure your friend tells us you recruited them!

To join, email Shannon and Angie and tell them that I (kortni24) sent you.
What to include in the email: your name, twitter name if applicable, your blog or website on or before 12:00 a.m. MST Thursday May 28^th 2009.
Wanna know more info??? Click here to check out the Fabfatties (and they are quite Fab!) website!

So, before I head back to my notes and notecards... with my highlighter!... I thought I'd also admit that the hardest part is going to be giving up the soda, or (even worse) my Monster!!! I have a can of the Blue Monster (yay lo-carb!) sitting right next to me, OPEN, so that I can restore my energy and try to not pass out with these notes! ACK! urggggg. :(

Also, as for my WW journey... I've lost a total of 7.8, 2.4 of them last week! Yeah!!! I have a feeling this week's already messed up (and it's only Tuesday) because I haven't done much of anything except cram for all 4 of my exams (silly things like finals and classes and universities, right?)... but I am hoping to get more active and less Monster-dependent in the next couple of days.
I leave for Mississippi next Saturday (the 6th), right during fabfatties challenge, BUT I know that I'll be able to do it! :)

Alright, no more putting of the studying... let me know if you're joining us in the challenge.
Love, me. <3

Get By with a Little Help From my Friends

The Beatles title of the blog has absolutely nothing to do with the following post... I just happen to have that particular song in my head (even though it is true to life).
Haven't wrote much in about a week or so.. but I'm sitting in environmental bio right now, and we're talking about different types of disturbances (ie. tornadoes and other weather, as well as human made). I still haven't decided what I thought about this class yet... and there's only two weeks left. There are definitely some things in the class that are talked about that I do not agree with, and I think that's been taking a toll on my test grades (oops)
But.. we were also talking about this guy right here (<--). He's the Florida Panther, and is apparently endangered (there's like only 70 or so left). But they're trying to make little corridors of habitat for the panther to live in because they kinda killed his natural habitat.

But anyways... last night, I attempted to watch the Curious Case of Benjamin Button.. it was quite sad, and really long. By the time 1am rolled around, I turned it off because I was so tired I couldn't focus on Brad Pitt aging downwards anymore. (That was Brad Pitt, right? I really have no idea who's who in Hollywood to be honest) I did, however, enjoy it. At least the part that I got to see. It was interesting to see him change age, etc. The things that Hollywood can do never ceases to amaze me.

Random thing my teacher just said: What would happen if UD decided today to just stop mowing the lawn?
It was an interesting question that is very easy to answer (yay for succession), but I still would love to see UD randomly stop mowing the grass. Imangine what the alumni would say.

So, this morning, I woke up really late, almost not waking up at all (I put all the blame onto Benjamin Button for keeping me awake all night haha). So, I decided to throw some water into the water heater to have some coffee to-go. And now I've got a deliciuos cafe mocha with me in class. The only downside: pouring the water into my new mug, I spilled a bit of very hot water onto my hand and burnt it. OOPS. Talk about somewhat painful.
S0, that was a bad start.. but it's getting better. I am already out of class now, and am sitting in Trabant with Rebecca(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy Rebecca???) and our coffee (as well as my Blueberry muffin!!)... and on our way over here, we got free Monsters! word. I love Monster... we just need to make sure Garrett doesn't go anywhere near them.
And then tonight, my mom, my friend Katie, and I are going to the mall for facials and dinner. It's rare when I'm excited for something so ooberly girly, but oh well.

On Friday night, Rebecca and I are going to a semi-formal with a few of our friends (a bunch of nerds? Attempting to dance? HAHAHAHAHA this should be an excellent night) so we're both really excited about that. And Kelllllllllliiiiiiii is doing my hair! (yay best friend!) I love getting dressed up in pretty dresses for pretty nights. It's always very exciting.
Ok, I'm going to go enjoy my muffin now. And possibly do some bio reading, though knowing me that one will not be happening..... well, maybe it will since this chapter is all about genetic variations.

Love, me. <3

Currently, I am sitting on my bed, surrounded by endless chemistry books, attempting to do a lab for tomorrow. It's going very slowly... but it's at least going, right? I have an at-home lab due, as well as the starting stuff for my titration lab that we are actually doing tomorrow.
I absolutely hate titrations. We did them legit every week the second semester of my freshman year at CCC. I like organic lab much more (as weird as that is lol).
But that's just the nerd in me I guess.

So in "exciting" news... not only has H1N1 hit UD campus, it apparently has also hit Delaware Tech. Both of my schools. My mom and I are both certain that we both have it at the moment, but frankly, neither of us care. If you look at what WHO is putting out about it, the flu that comes around every winter (you know, the one you get that flu shot for) is probably about 1000 times worse than this particular strain of influenza is.
ha, take that health services!

*ahem* anyways... I figured I hadn't updated in a while, so I would take a break from drawing lewis structures and finding MSDS info about chemicals for my labs. Oh chemistry, how I hate you.

How is everyone else doing these days? Good? :)

So, it's almost midnight.. I'm exhausted because it's been a long day, but I really don't get a chance to sleep tonight. I've got my second calc exam tomorrow, and I've really got to finish these CSBs by then.
Luckily, it's a lot less than there were for the last exam, and I had a few done before but still. It's gonna be a crappy day tomorrow trying to get these done.... oops.
So I'm kinda lounging on my bed, laptop with me, working on these stupid skill builders, and for some reason I've got Nightline on.... I blame me just being too lazy to get up and turn off the tv. I was watching the news for the past few hours, trying to see if we were on any of the channels for the tea party.
Alas, we were not... but everyone around us were. So that was cool I guess. Mom was mad "Where's the rest of the Delaware footage?!" haha, gotta love Mom.
She spoke today at the rally, and later asked me how I thought she did... I was honest, she had me to tears at one point because I kinda got overwhelmed by how good she was. It was awesome. And they didn't try to reign her in due to time because she was just on a good flow. It was great.
Side note: They're talking about some drug war on tv now... I'm obviously not paying attention.

Took a CrJu exam today, hope I did better than last time (I got a 77). I sat next to Batman today... which was kinda cool, in a sense. We were both somewhat freaking out about it before the fact. And, you know, sitting in the last row is really nerve-wrecking... you have to sit and wait for the TA to pass out tests to ALLL the rows in front of you. And the rooms in Kirkbride aren't that tiny.

Ok, I'm just being lazy right now and trying to delay my chemistry skill building I need to do... though it's not really building any skills but oh well. haha.
I'm hoping to write again soon, I promise! (and I mean Traveling Soldier wise, not blog wise.... although I do need to work on this blogging thing more because Kelli and I are just terrible!)

Niggggggghts hope everyone has an awesome Thursday.
OH ps. I have an interview at Friendly's tomorrow after Hist o Rock. Exciting!
~me

hewwo!

Hey hey blog world.. I'm sitting in my environmental biology class at the moment, and got a little bored... so I decided to update! yayyyy! lol
We're talking about plant behaviors right now (apparently there's a type of plant called a "nasty"?... like the Venus Fly Trap lol), and I'm like wow... boring.
Life's been going well, went to the gym with the bestie last night and I'm feeling great because of it!! :D yeahh. Like, in all honesty, I've been overly stressed with drama and life recently.. but since last night, I've felt so great and happy. Like I've already gotten texts from the drama people in my life this morning, and I'm just like "eh, whatever!" which is definitely a first for me.

School's still just ok. I'm finally getting used to the whole UD thing.... 2 months after classes started lol. The silly boy from calc is just getting annoying nowadays, so I'm not sure what's going on with that. I've just given up on him in general..... ok, I've given up on all guys in general. But I'm cool with that. :)

Well, yeah, this is just a mini-post I guess... but class ends in like 4 minutes so I gotta get ready to turn the lappy off!

PS: Twitter
I'm on Twitter! look for kortni24!!!!

I've become fully obsessed with Twitter... and I'm rewatching the first season of Veronica Mars. it makes me so happy! :)
So just thought I'd update a little bit to say "hey, I'm not dead. still have terrible boy troubles, and I feel like I'm about to collapse any minute."

So I'm gonna go back to V now, at least until Secret Life comes on in a few... and I'm totally playing Sims at the same time. :D

oh dear...

Here's a question... what does one get the boy they like for Valentines Day? Especially when he's hoping for something special from you?

And yes, I realize I'm asking this the day after said holiday, but hey, we like to be difficult sometimes... ok, always.

A friend of mine, whom, as I stated before, I like, asked me yesterday morning to be his Valentine for both yesterday (since it's the said holiday) and tomorrow (since that's the next time we'll see each other, thus being our day of celebrating), and I obviously said yes. I would have been fairly stupid not to, no matter how confusing/complicated things are between me and boy. (Which they are extremely complicated)... And we stayed up until 3am texting each other (again), and it wasn't weird at all (for once) and I was called cute/adorable/a doll (true story) multiple times in the past 24 hours total....

And he's apparently planning something sweet/romantic for us (including lunch) and has some surprises up his sleeves (which, normally, I'm extremely against surprises, but I'm actually kinda excited to see what he's gonna do... a fact that he makes fun of me for but still)....

I just don't know what to do for a boy for Valentines Day!!!! Help????? :(







PS.
In other news, I started attending a SECOND college at home (I got into UD!!! yayyy), so now I've got this huge pile of classes/homework, but for those who are still trying to get me to update, I PROMISE as soon as I can I will update the story... I know, I'm a failure at life with this, and I'm really sorry!!!

wow... It's been a good few days, hasn't it. Sorry about that.

It still hasn't hit me fully that I'm home for good, just crept up on me slowly... I think it's helping that my friends are all keeping me sane (thank you for that).
I started taking a calc class last week, so between that and work I haven't had much me/thinking time.

Not to mention, some of my attention has been adverted towards trying to charm a boy... whom just texted me. He's feeling sick (hey, something him and I have in common... oops, maybe we shouldn't have stayed up late last night texting. heh), etc.

So yes, long story short, I'm trying to get my life on some type of a track.. and I'm missing how carefree and wonderful it was at school compared to now.

But... I'm surviving, which is the nice thing... and for anyone who is visiting from fanfiction.net, I promise I will get the next chapter up soon!

As the numbness washes over

Well... I did it. We moved all of my stuff out of my dorm today, back home.
I don't know what to think, how to handle it... anything.
I'm just kind of here.
Numb.
Most of the stuff's unpacked and positioned in my room (minus some posters and photos), so I'm just waiting for the moment to come.
You know... when I just snap.

I'll let you know what happens then... for now, I feel kinda dead.
Zoned.
And really tired.
I guess that's what happens when you've spent the past 12 hours packing and unpacking. Right?
:-\

I like watching the puddles gather rain

except it's not raining. It did snow a tad today, however. But that won't form puddles. Only snow piles.
Puddles are interesting, starting from one tiny drop and becoming this massive thing of water that gets you soaked when you step in it. The way the drop splashes is pretty interesting/impressive too. I watched a Disney special once, on one of the cartoons (I want to say Mulan or Beauty & the Beast), and they were saying how they studied the way a drop splashes into water to make the drawings in the movie more realistic (pretty sure that was Mulan now...)

You have to admit, that looks pretty awesome, right? (I found that randomly online, trust me. I'm not that cool).
I guess I'm just feeling a bit pensive right now, thinking about raindrops and whatnot. We were playing Guitar Hero earlier, and my dad's favorite song is No Rain by Blind Melon, so I've had it in my head for a good portion of the day.
I also had a good conversation with a close friend of mine tonight that keeps playing over old memories in my head.. Also never a good thing when it comes to me... But we talked about this guy I dated for a lengthy time back a few years ago. It's got me thinking how much people can really change over a period of time...
When we had started dating, it was almost like we were made for each other. The perfect fit, like that certain pair of shoes, as my mom used to put it. But then... I don't know what happened. He changed, and I changed. We weren't compatible, no matter how hard we tried... and we tried really hard. The last seven months or so of the relationship was like one big fight, that's all we did. It was like there was nothing else to do... then, when we broke up, we tried to stay as just friends... but, it seemed like that in itself didn't even work out.
Now we don't talk at all. Well, barely ever... we try to talk, usually in the summer time, and catch up on life and such. But I'm always afraid of what we'll say. What he'll say, etc. He's in this thing called Masters Commission (dont get me started... please. lol), and I'm always fearful whenever they are doing some event that I'm at that he'll talk about his past, especially what went on with us. Because, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear things like "I made a mistake..." or "I loved this girl once, and it was wrong..." because, frankly, you never really forget your first love, do you? No matter how naive, stupid, etc that you were... you still never forget, and you never get over who that person was when the relationship was at it's prime.

My roommate said something about it a few months ago, concerning my major lull in my love life I've had in the past year. She said it was because I was hurt so many times, unintentionally, by each guy I've been with (no matter how much I think that I've let go emotionally, and whatnot), that I can't bring myself to try because I really don't want to get hurt anymore. And that it all starts with him... and it's not that I've ever been broken up with. Actually, I've had more than my fair share of relationships, and I've never been dumped. Not once. I've just dated the wrong type of guys that manipulated and controlled, etc... so I had lost all faith in the male population (and then I read twilight... which probably did not help the guys' chances much. haha), and I didn't want to make those mistakes ever again... so I've been healing my heart, which I found out had so many holes and tears in it, one more failure would've probably completely broken me forever.
Huh. Interesting.
I wonder what it would feel like to be emotionally broken for the rest of your life, never being able to fall in love... not because you don't want to, but because you just are inable to.
That's kinda depressing. Oops.
In other news, I've become extremely obsessed with the game Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii... so if you have the game, and are looking for a new friend... let me know, and we shall exchange codes etc.
I guess I shall go for the night. I've got a chapter of writing I have been meaning to finish over the past few months, and for some odd reason, I have a strong yearning to write it now. (New Years Resolution: to not be so lazy with writing fan fiction chapters. It's not nice to my readers!!!)

<3 always
Kortni